“The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About” by Mel Robbins (Dec 2024) is a personal development book that I pre-ordered on Audible. I have been following Mel for a few years on YouTube and some would call her the “modern Dr. Phil”. For self-help junkies, we knew this would be a treat. The real question was – would it be good for the skeptic?
Overview: The audiobook is divided into 20 chapters narrated by the author herself, totaling 10 hours and 38 min of listening. I will group the chapters into three main parts – How to choose your reactions to people you can’t control, how to be a better friend and how to love yourself and others. She covers control, personal relationships and weaves in subject matter expertise from psychologists on change and motivation to understand how to become aware and make the necessary behavioral shifts to accomplish a more satisfying life. In the appendix, Robbins includes parenting and teams insights (and bloopers!).
Key Message: The key message is to free yourself from what others think about you and as Robbins quotes Dr. K “in order to make a change, a person must be able to separate themselves from the pain they will feel in this moment and the action they need to take.” Her book aims is to create space in order to affect change. At a high level, Mel wants you to “let them” do what they will do and “let me” do what you can control and want to do with reality.
I think her chapters on adult friendship are exceptional. Not only does her 3 factors of friendship in terms of timing, proximity and energy seem spot on, from my vantage point it also appears she is very timely filling a gap. Our social structure has placed too much emphasis on belonging with the group, without providing the needed language to understand the conditions on which friendship thrives. She helps us see how most situations aren’t personal. These chapters alone could help many people out there trying too hard to fit in.
Supplemental Information:
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- Mel’s Website – https://www.melrobbins.com/letthemtheory
- Dr K – https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
Where it Falls Short:
For me, it took a long time to take off. I started enjoying it almost halfway through the audiobook. For a while, I was bored with it because I’m in this space a lot and only tuned in when she provided personal examples, but then I paid clear attention for the last half when it got more interesting for me. I also think it tried to cover too much ground. The subjects of control, difficult people, friendship, support and dating are a lot. It meant that the content was higher-level and more mainstream – of which may not impress the more arduous reader.
Overall Assessment & Why: I rate it a 8 out of 10 in terms of a personal development book. Her informal approach is inviting for the everyday reader/listener. In this book, Mel Robbins gets real, real quick. She shares very personal anecdotes from her life and her family’s life. Some people may think too much information (TMI), but others will be drawn to her conversational tone. Many of the stories are memorable and relatable, which will help the key messages sustain years after one finishes the book.